Lelouch the Cook
by Windrises
Summary: Lelouch tries to become a cook at a pizza place.


Notes: Code Geass is owned by Sunrise. This story is dedicated to all of the talented people that worked on Code Geass.

Lelouch Lamperouge went to a nearby pizza place to get pizzas for C. C. Lelouch asked "Are the pizzas going to be ready soon?"

The employee at the cash register said "The cook has been purposely working slower than he's supposed to."

Lelouch asked "Why is he doing that?"

The employee said "He found out that the manager was paying him under the minimum wage."

Lelouch replied "I'm tired of waiting."

The employee responded "And I'm tired of working today. I'm going to leave."

Lelouch asked "Is your workday over?"

The employee said "No." The employee walked out.

Lelouch was so tired of waiting that he went into the kitchen. The cook said "You're not supposed to be in here."

Lelouch replied "And you can't be paid under the minimum wage. I understand that you're upset, but you need to make pizzas faster."

The cook said "Nah. I'm going to go home for the day." The cook walked out.

The manager walked by and asked "Where's the cashier and the cook?"

Lelouch said "They walked out before their work day was over."

The manager replied "This proves that they deserve to get paid under the minimum wage."

C. C. walked in and said "Hi Lelouch."

Lelouch replied "You said that you were going to wait at home."

C. C. responded "I was going to, but I've been waiting for too long."

The manager tapped Lelouch on the head and said "You've ordered more pizzas here than any other customer."

Lelouch replied "Well she's the one that eats them."

The manager said "Well I have a really good business deal for you."

Lelouch asked "What is it?"

The manager said "If you become my new cook your girlfriend can have pizzas for free."

Lelouch replied "Okay. I think that I have the potential to be the best cook ever."

The manager whispered "Don't tell anybody that I'm going to pay you under the minimum wage."

Lelouch replied "Okay."

C. C. said "Cook me a pizza. My stomach has been grumbling for like a half hour."

Lelouch went into the kitchen. He said "First I need the dough. I think that bread is dough." Lelouch got out a big piece of bread. He said "Next I'll put the pepperoni on it." He threw a bunch of pieces of pepperoni on the bread. He said "Oh. I need to put cheese on it." Lelouch went into the kitchen and grabbed some cheddar cheese. He cut the cheddar cheese into lots of slices and threw the slices onto the bread. He said "It seems like I put on everything the pizza needs. I'm proud of myself for learning all of those steps so fast. I better put the pizza in the oven." He put the "pizza" into the oven. He wasn't sure what temperature the pizza should be cooked at so he randomly picked two hundred degrees.

Lelouch started tap dancing around the cashier stand. He said "Hi C. C."

C. C. asked "What's the update on the pizza?"

Lelouch proudly said "You don't have to worry about that at all. I made a very tasty looking pizza. I learned how to make it really fast. It's in the oven right now. It's going to be one of the tastiest things in the history of creation."

C. C. replied "You're the prince of exaggerated self compliments."

The manager walked up to Lelouch and asked "How's your first cooking mission going?"

Lelouch said "The pizza's in the oven."

The manager asked "How does the pizza look?"

Lelouch said "It looks like spectacular awesomeness."

The manager proudly said "That's what people say I look like."

Lelouch replied "You're the prince of exaggerated self compliments."

The manager responded "You're the prince of new employees that got a pay cut on their first day."

A few minutes later Lelouch went into the kitchen to check on the pizza. He opened the oven and said "It's too warm in there. I better turn down the heater." Lelouch turned down the oven's temperature to one hundred degrees. Lelouch took the "pizza" out of the oven and accidentally dropped it on the floor. Lelouch thought that wasn't a problem, because of the five second rule. He put the "pizza" on a plate. He started dancing out of the kitchen. While he danced the food fell off the plate and landed on the floor. Lelouch said "Well I guess that the five second rule can be used more than once." He put the food back onto the plate.

C. C. asked "Is the pizza ready to be gobbled up by me?"

Lelouch said "Yeah. It's the tastiest looking thing that has ever been made at this pizza place." Lelouch placed the plate with the "pizza" on the table.

C. C. looked at it and said "Throw this April first prank away."

Lelouch replied "This is a fantastic pizza, not a silly prank."

C. C. responded "This is the biggest piece of garbage that I've ever seen on a plate. That's a big statement considering that you have put garbage on plates several times."

Lelouch stubbornly said "It wasn't garbage. It was stuff from the garbage, but the taste wasn't expired."

C. C. replied "I'm sorry my dear, but this piece of trash is so bad that I'm going to have to tell the manager about this." C. C. had the manager come to the table.

The manager asked "What's wrong?"

C. C. said "I ordered a pizza, but your bumbling cook gave me a disgusting piece of bread that's covered in cheddar cheese. Also it's been on the floor twice. I could have the health inspector sue you for this pathetic attempt at a meal."

The manager asked "Why did you use bread instead of dough?"

Lelouch said "I thought that bread was dough."

The manager asked "Why did you use cheddar cheese?"

Lelouch said "The answer to that is pretty obvious."

The manager replied "Well that answer isn't obvious to me."

Lelouch said "I assumed that you're supposed to throw cheese on the dough."

The manager asked "Did you drop the pizza on the floor?"

Lelouch said "Yeah, but I have the advantage of the five second rule."

The manager replied "But the food might not be healthy after it falls on the floor."

Lelouch said "This pizza looks great."

C. C. replied "It's not a pizza. It lacks every single quality that a pizza should have. You're a disgrace to the pizza franchise."

The manager said "You lack what a cook should have Lelouch."

Lelouch asked "Are you saying that, because I'm not Swedish?"

The manager replied "I'm only going to give you one more chance. If you mess up again I'll fire you."

C. C. said "Well I'm not going to risk getting poisoned so I'm going to go." C. C. walked out.

A few minutes later Suzaku Kururugi walked in and said "I'm here to order a pepperoni pizza."

Lelouch replied "I'll do a great job at making one for you." Lelouch went into the kitchen. He used cookie dough instead of pizza dough. He used a random block of pizza that he used in the fridge. He threw pieces of cheese on the cookie dough. After that he threw some pepperoni on the cookie dough. Lelouch said "The oven seems to make the pizzas rather slowly. I think that the microwave will be better." Lelouch put the cookie dough into the microwave. A few minutes later the cookie dough was ready. Lelouch put the disgusting meal on a plate and threw it to Suzaku. After Suzaku got sick Lelouch got fired.


End file.
